The popular saying goes, “You cannot have your cake and eat it too.” In other words, you cannot consume something and still expect to retain it. Some choices come with consequences that cannot conveniently be reversed.
Culture, however, is not static. It evolves as communities accept, reject, or modify particular practices. What was once considered strange may eventually become normal, while an accepted practice may later be questioned.
When the banking industry introduced the “strange” culture of employees addressing one another by their first names, many of us were not amused. My early work experience was in ultra-conservative environments. I dared not call the foreman by his first name, let alone the supervisor or one of the mighty managers.
Later, when I joined an audit firm, members of staff were addressed by their initials. At Ijewere & Co., the Managing Partner, the late Emmanuel Itoya Ijewere, was called EI – not Employment Insurance. My “home training” would not permit me to address him that way, so, in my little rebellion, I called him MP.
Even today, I cannot address many of my seniors from high school by their first names. As some of you may have noticed, I refer to certain people as “our classmates who are not our mates.” They were technically our classmates, but their age or seniority placed them in a different category. Even forty-six years after leaving school, many of us still cannot bring ourselves to call them by their first names.
Against that background, when the incident involving Tony or TOE began gaining traction across the blogosphere, my first question was: What changed?
What happened to the pride with which first-name culture was once promoted and, in some workplaces, forced down our throats? If employees were encouraged to address senior colleagues by their first names, at what point did doing so become a problem?
A colleague once told me about entering an elevator with some of the senior men in his organisation. He greeted them by saying, “Good morning, sirs,” but they did not respond. He found it awkward to greet them by their first names because, as he put it, he was still struggling with his home training.
This raises an important question: was the cake of first-name culture ever fully eaten? Was half of it deliberately left behind so that the hierarchy could be restored whenever familiarity be amended uncomfortable?
Perhaps the issue is not the use of a first name itself. Respect is communicated through tone, conduct, context, and the nature of the relationship. A first name can be used respectfully, just as a title can be spoken with contempt. Yet an organisation that promotes first-name familiarity must also be prepared for younger employees to adopt that culture consistently.
Or could it be that Tony once welcomed the practice when he was younger but now, with age and seniority, finds it less appealing – especially when it comes from members of Gen Z?
The good news is that we understand he is doing what he can to ensure that the woman at the centre of the storm does not lose herself under the unintended pressure surrounding the incident.
Still, the central question remains: was first-name culture genuinely embraced, or was the cake only half eaten?
©TheVillageBoy.
(The figure man who loves alphabets)
