Incidentally, the dictionary treats these two concepts as synonyms. But in the real sense of usage, the two connote different meanings, with one having a deeper emotional connection than the other. Yes, both words indicate an emotional response to a third party when something harmful happens to them. Both are responses conveying a person’s thoughts and feelings for what the other person has gone through or is going through.
Sympathy is an expression of feeling for the misfortune of others with no ability or intention to do anything about it.
Empathy, on the other hand, is the expression of concerns about the situation affecting another person, with the determination to do something to ameliorate or reduce the burdens or pains the other person feels at that moment.
Truly, both are expressions of concern and identification, sometimes with the burdens and pains that a third party bears. The major difference is that sympathy is a bit passive, while empathy is more active in trying to do something.
Many Faces of Sympathy
Sympathy has many means or faces of expression; some may be of genuine concern, some mockery, and some total aloofness. The Yoruba will often say that “Pẹ̀lẹ́ làkọ o làbo” (literally meaning sympathy or ‘greeting’ can be both positive and negative).
Let us look at some faces of expression with sympathy.
Heya pele oo – this often shows when someone is showing concern about the other party by unwittingly trying to amplify what may have happened to the other person. It is mainly used as a street language and sometimes in a very caricature manner.
Pele ti e (sorry for your personal misfortune). This awful response is more of “I don’t care” what may have befallen you. Also, there is the tendency to respond this way when the narration of the misfortune is not believable to the hearer. It is also some form of aloofness and displeasure with the person despite the expression of unpleasant things happening to them. It is usually very sarcastic.
Ẹ pele pupo (I am deeply sorry). This kind of expression often comes from deep alignment with the situation or as a mark of respectful sympathy for the victim. A subordinate may respond this way when something happens to the boss, and the boss is narrating it, perhaps with tears dropping uncontrollably.
So sorry about that. There are two dimensions to this kind of sympathy expression. It is the facial demonstration that accompanies the expression that distinguishes the dimensions. One with unconcerned facial expressions may be more of an aloofness and “what is my business about that” attitude. At the same time, an expression with facial worries may indicate genuine concerns about the incident.
This is undoubtedly a street slang-like expression that may both be serious or unserious. If it is said, laughing, especially to a jokes buddy, then know it is more sarcastic than sympathy. On the other hand, it may be a genuine feeling of concern but without the right or better means of expressing sympathy.
These are the various shades of expressing sympathy in our clime. Thus, it takes a careful observation of the tone and facial expression to discern the genuineness of sympathy. Some expressions could be genuine, others mockery, aloofness and who cares kind of attitude.
Empathy
Empathy has a deeper emotional connection.
Empathy has some uniqueness that distinguishes it from mere sympathy. Some of these are:
-Genuine and sincere concern about the misfortune of the other person.
-Willingness and ability to do something to help lift the burden.
-Putting oneself in the stead of those who have the misfortune.
– Staying with the other person sometimes until full recovery.
-Believing it could have happened to anyone, including oneself.
It is not all the time that mere expression of sympathy is waste or useless because there are situations in which you lack ability beyond sympathy. However, being at least very authentic is noble if you want to sympathize with anyone.
At various points in our lives, we can make do with some sympathy or, better still, empathy because life happens.
We should also make ourselves available as much as possible to express sympathy or empathy to others when they experience the vicissitudes of life.
How genuine is your expression of Sympathy to others?
What are your thoughts?
Please feel free to share your perspectives.
©TheVillageBoy.
