The incident of men beating up their wives due to their refusing them sex is becoming rampant.
When you beat up your wife and then forcefully have sex with her, in my books that is Rape
I don’t know if you could be prosecuted for that seeing that you have legal authority over her but this issue is now so rampant in marriages that almost 1 in 20 marriages are facing it according to experts.
It could be more, it’s just that due to shame, stigma and humiliation, a lot of incidents are not being reported.
I am writing to the man who finds himself in such a situation.
The women who find themselves being beaten up and molested remain victims but this essay is to the man who out of frustration resort to this.
But before I go to the man, let me state one fact; men by their natural inclination get extremely attracted to that one thing that seems difficult to get.
It challenges them and brings out the hunter in them, and this comes with latent aggression that if not properly contained could lead to violence.
When women weaponise sex, which is what you do when you refuse your husband for whatever reason, you are truly playing with fire.
A woman can get cold and switch off for so many reasons.
She could be distracted by another man, economic reasons, physiological and medical reasons, age, social reasons and many more. For men, you tackle this by first trying to understand which of the reasons is leading to this loss of attraction.
Women are very deliberate when it comes to sex. They hardly make love by accident, it’s usually well planned and orchestrated. What this means is that if your woman doesn’t want to make love to you again, then you are truly and really in trouble.
My personal research shows that the most difficult reason to overcome is if your wife is distracted or has someone else. This is usually impossible to reverse except she herself reverses it
There is literally nothing you can do about it cos her heart which is her sexual engine room is gone. Most women and by this I mean, normal women cannot sleep with two men at the same time. I mean ‘normal’. It makes them feel vile and it imbues them with low self-esteem so they cannot really manage.
When they sleep with you because you are their husband, even you will see that this is just a body in bed. A lot of them will not even kiss you.
If your wife no longer kisses you, no matter how many rounds she allows you, she is gone.
So how should a man react in this situation?
Beating her up and forcing yourself on her, is the worst thing you can do.
Different strategies depend on the reason. If it’s a distraction from another man, you wait it out and leave everything to God.
Most women find themselves in a loveless marriage. Either they got married when they didn’t understand their sexual appetite or their expectations for a relationship
They continue in it even though they remain sad and unhappy.
When they find their soul mate and the chemistry is right, even if they are Mother Theresa, they are gone and there is nothing you as the hubby can do about it.
Those with a strong sense of duty will stay and continue to meet their responsibilities but their heart and body are gone and there is nothing anybody can do about it.
If they are lucky and the source of distraction is also well engaged with her, that is the end. Both of them will stick together through thick and thin and she would have ‘another husband’ out there while still at home.
I have stopped judging this kind of relationships because I have seen and heard of many. The sadness involved in being locked up in a loveless marriage and the frustration of finding your soul mate and not being able to be open about it usually leads to massive depression and beating is the worst thing a man can do at this stage.
The other reasons, emotional, psychological, physiological, and financial can be easily resolved. All you need to do is be patient. Control your libido, keep it aside and be selfless.
Offer a shoulder, talk to her, be more responsive, cuddle her, put the romance back and just put her on a new pedestal.
Send her gifts, poems, listen more to her and the rest.
What you would need is a lot of patience.
Women normally can stay without sex for a long time and when you now add all these other issues, you just might find yourself in the lurch for years.
I know men who have stayed for seven years without sex from their wives and I also know women who have stayed that long and even longer without sex from anywhere.
So what advice would I give a man in that space, who has needs.
Instead of beating her up, masturbate.
Yes masturbate, this is my favourite pastime.
It’s safe, healthy and cheap. All you need is your hand, your mind or porn and for beginners you can get aides like baby oil, palm oil and the like.
Whenever, you get the urge, instead of going there to be humiliated, just enter a dark room, bring out your pecker beat it and you cum and you will be very okay. You see for us men, once you achieve the release, everything becomes calm.
Secondly, start an affair. Yes. I say it with my full chest. If she is no longer giving you, look for someone and start something.
It’s better than beating and raping someones child. People have lost their lives and ended up in prison for that and the worst that can happen to you for cheating is being cheated on or being caught and then you have a strong alibi – ‘you are not fucking me na!’
Leave the marriage. When a woman is not giving you sex for upwards of four years, what the hell are you still doing there.
Men have a short sexual cycle. Once they cross 50, they start to decline sexually so why now use your own hand to further shorten the cycle.
If the womam for whatever reason is not giving you and you have tried so hard and she is still not adamant, just leave the marriage. It’s that simple.
Do not beat a woman for sex, it’s the lowest any man can fall to.
I hate men who do it cos they are the worst form of manhood even lower than a rapist.
How can you beat your wife cos you want to have sex?
Rubbish!
Thanks
