Yes, what you read is correct. Please stop expanding your eyes unnecessarily.
So, with the warehouse managers, we are glad to inform the general public that we are putting on a boxing sales bonanza, offering partially damaged consciences to assist those whose consciences are in the final stages of becoming completely finished.
Please don’t take this as a joke. We don’t want to continue with deceitful, ‘conscientious’ people who are only a quarter or less of the way to wiping their consciences clean of the guilt of working as normal human beings.
For easy identification, we have labelled each carton so you can tell which part will make your conscience completely deaden.
The cartons for partially damaged consciences are:
– Partially corrupted
– Chop and clean the mouth
– Chop and deny
– Beggarly (begi begi)
– Righteous’ bribe taker
– Borrow and not repay
– Selling fake products
– Armed robbery
– Pen robbery
– 419 apprentice
– Rent defaulter
– Other nuts and screws.
To ensure you are adequately served, our warehouse will open at 1 am on Boxing Day, and we will run a 24-hour shift until all items are sold.
We thought of asking you to bring an X-ray of your conscience beforehand, so we can identify the missing part and completely eradicate your good conscience. However, we have gotten some well-trained technicians who have volunteered to render pre-sales and after-sales services to all buyers.
With handheld equipment, they will know which part is suitable for you.
Please note that they are not trained to repair conscience o. Their job is to help you become completely conscienceless.
We have also arranged with a landfill manager in case you are not able to find the matching part to complete the process.
The price is also pocket-friendly. If you need more than three spare parts, we will charge only for the first three; the remaining will be provided free of charge.
This is our honourable attempt to separate good consciences from partially damaged consciences. We want to streamline everything to only two categories. We are tired of people confusing us.
The Yoruba says “Ojú à fọ́ ìfọ́tán wàhàlà ló ń dá sílẹ̀” (eyes not fully blind cause chaos).
Hurry up while the stocks last. No dull am o.
Compliments of the season to those whose consciences are still intact. Others, please hurry up to the warehouse to collect your own.
©TheVillageBoy.
(The figure man who loves alphabets)
