I want to live it backwards
‐—
I want to live my next life backwards.
You know, you start out dead,
you get this out of the way.
You wake up in a nursing home,
but you’re feeling better every day.
You get kicked out for being too healthy.
You collect your pension,
you enjoy your retirement,
you get ready for work.
You get a gold watch on your first day.
You work for 40 years,
until you’re too young to work.
Then you get ready for high school.
You party, you drink,
you’re generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school,
and that’s it, you’re a kid.
You have no more responsibilities.
Then you’re a baby.
And then you spend your last nine months
just floating peacefully
in spa-like conditions.
It’s central heating,
room service on tap.
And then you finish off
as a normal person.
– George Carlin
George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author, who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums. Carlin was noted for his black humor as well as his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects.
