As divorce and separation become increasingly common in modern relationships, Nigerians are revisiting an age-old question: what truly keeps marriages together, love or financial stability?
Across communities, opinions remain divided. While some believe sustainable finances are the glue that holds marriages together, others argue that love, commitment and patience remain the true pillars of a lasting union.
Marriage has long been regarded as an honourable bond between two adults built on shared goals, making life easier together, building wealth and raising children. But changing social and economic realities appear to be reshaping how couples view the institution today.
Historically, love was often seen as the central force sustaining marriages, particularly among low and middle-income families. Although men of high social standing rarely struggled to find spouses, relationships among less affluent couples were often believed to be built on genuine affection rather than wealth or material possessions.
Stories from decades past even suggest that some wealthy men would pretend to be poor to test the sincerity of a woman’s love. At the time, it was widely believed that true affection was independent of social status or financial advantage.
Women, on their part, were often expected to endure hardships and remain committed to their marriages regardless of their husbands’ financial circumstances. Many of these unions, despite economic struggles, lasted decades.
Traditionally, men were seen as the primary providers in the household. But in recent years, the growing financial pressure on families and shifting gender roles have changed expectations within marriages.
How then do you keep your partner?
Some persons revealed that financial strain has become one of the biggest tests of modern relationships. According to them, the pressure to maintain romantic commitments has pushed some men to extreme measures in order to sustain their love lives.
Many also admitted that their views on marriage have evolved, with some insisting they would no longer marry women who do not have an independent source of income.
Among younger Nigerians preparing for marriage, financial security appears to be a major factor. Some argue that affection alone cannot sustain a union, stressing that economic stability plays a crucial role in maintaining harmony within the home.
An elderly couple, Mr and Mrs Alade Bello, echoed the importance of financial stability, noting that lack of it can place enormous strain on marriages and often lead to conflict.
However, another elderly couple who preferred anonymity offered a different perspective. They argued that what truly sustains marriage is love strengthened by commitment.
According to them, many marriages today suffer not only from financial stress but also from a lack of genuine affection from men and patience and understanding from women.
Marriage counsellors also warn that many couples may be mistaking financial comfort for love. They argue that while money can make family life easier, it cannot replace the emotional and moral foundations required to sustain a long-term relationship.
Experts therefore advise couples to return to the core values that once defined strong marriages, love, patience, commitment, trust and mutual understanding.
As society continues to evolve, the debate over what sustains marriage is unlikely to end soon. But many believe that while money may help support a family, the true strength of any marriage still lies in the values that bind two people together beyond wealth or circumstance.
